Made It!

It's over! And I'm still standing. Phew!

Ok...here's something weird: us adults pick names for Christmas gifts...it's not exactly Secret Santa, because we know who we get, but this way we only have to buy for the kids and one other person. Other than your spouse, theoretically. But that's a grey area. That's not the weird thing though. What's weird is this: want to know the 2 top gifts of xmas this year? A Tiffany "Bean" necklace, and a pair of diamond hoop earrings. I got the Tiffany necklace from my brother. My sister in law got the diamond earrings from my husband. Ask me how many diamonds my husband has given ME? Go ahead...ask! No don't...it would only make you feel sad for me. Want to know what he DID get me? A heated mattress pad and an electric blanket. Because clearly I am 90 and also a shivery chihuahua. All the other people at the nursing home are going to be SO jealous. I told my kids if they smell anything delicious coming from my bedroom, to come and unplug me!

As for the children, well they got way too much, as always. But that's what xmas is all about, right? I mean, I totally remember my best gifts. I'll never forget the xmas of the 18 inch Barbie! She was like this giant amazon Barbie, and her hair was SOOO awesome to play with! She really couldn't play with the other Barbies, because she was freakishly gigantic, and I couldn't dress her in anything other than the silver lame bathing suit thing she came in because again, giganticness...but I loved that doll! I also loved the big Barbie head that you could put make-up on...until my brother wrote all over her face in ballpoint pen. Which I think I might have JUST forgiven him for thanks the the Tiffany necklace...so good call, Ross! Or the Barbie camper?? Which I still HAVE! Or the year I got Donny AND Marie all in one magical box of awesomeness. And yeah, the first thing I did was whip down Donny's purple jumper to check what he was packing. Which was, I'm sure, as disappointing as real life.

Lest it seem like all I ever wanted was Barbies (not far from the truth...), there was the Christmas of "Dumb Ditties", the best kid record EVER! Or the year I got Merlin? Remember Merlin!? Or the year my parents swore up and down that we weren't getting an Atari, but then...after all the gift were opened, my mother went up and totally surprised the CRAP out of us all Red Ryder BB gun style with...wait for it...AN ATARI!!! Oh yeah. My mother never let Santa get credit for the REALLY good stuff. She's smarter than me in that regard. Do NOT tell her I said that!

So, all in all, I've probably earned my existence in Christmas purgatory with Michael, who gets me gifts like electric blankets and Dremels. I can handle it. I guess now I'll go caress my bean. That's the Tiffany necklace...get your mind out of the gutter!

The X-Mas Holidays

Ugh...they're almost here. Thankfully, Michael will have next week off, which means I can come and go as I please. Which might be helpful to my ever darkening mood. Right now I'm having trouble facing the idea of weeks ahead of me with nothing but children 24/7. Again I say ugh.

Today I dropped Graeme off with my dad, and then mum and I went over to Square One. My dear mother nearly passed out from horror as I parked in the "for customer with child" parking spot. I don't usually, but today I had rather a 'fuck it' attitude. Seriously...eff you world. I HAVE children. Just because I don't actually have them with me doesn't mean one of them isn't a major pain in my ass and should thereby allow me to be rewarded by having a decent parking space every now and again, right?

So I went into Sephora, where everything I touched seemed to explode on contact. For instance, my hair, coat, and pretty much everything around me are more sparkling than my personality, thanks to the can of sparkle spray that got stuck in "spray" position. I probably glitter-ified at least 3 bystanders, my mother, and the floor before I decided to just put the can down and walk away. One of those days. I did manage to get exactly what I wanted, plus a dress at Old Navy and some cute x-massy pajama bottoms. Will they fill me with x-mas spirit? Somehow I think no. Blah...I really hope I'm not turning into my curmudgeon of a father. I'm too adorable to be a curmudgeon!

Last night, Brian and I went downtown to see the Ross Petty version of Beauty and the Beast. Cute. Takes a minute to get warmed up and to remember you're supposed to boo the villain. Scott Thompson in drag is always...ALWAYS...sponge worthy.

Now the question is: do we have any chocolate?

I'm Stuck.

Does it get easier? That's from Lost in Translation. But...really...does it?

What I'm wondering is: how old do you have to be to have a mid-life crisis? Are they only for men? Should I buy a snazzy red car? Is that the thing that's going to make me happy? Because it feels a lot like life is whizzing by. WHIZZING! I mean I really don't know where it's going, and most days are just so much of the same, and accomplishing nothing.

Do people really just get in their car and keep on driving?

March Break OVER!!!

I made it!!!!!!!! I don't know how, but I made it with no fatalities. Which was not easy, because someone has stolen my darling angel Graeme and replaced him with this horrible, defiant, tough little badass, and although I LOVE badassy-ness for the most part, I am not the most patient person in the world, and sometimes, it gets messy. Like sometimes, he has to go places without me, which causes me SO much stress! For instance, this week, Ross and Enid took Graeme and Davis downtown TO to see Yo Gabba Gabba live. So now, in addition to the blind terror I feel at handing my precious angel over to someone else to ride in their car on the HIGHWAY where they will all surely perish in flames, I have to worry that he's going to totally freak out at some point and possibly run out into traffic because he's being told he has to do something. It was not a good day for me. However, as luck would have it, he did NOT die in a car crash, or run out into traffic, and apparently, he was pretty good (I bet they're just not telling me).

Anyway, this week, we went out for lunch, saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D, went to the ROM, Brian did an all-day curling camp (which he LOVED) and we went swimming. So there was something fun in every day. Which might even be a record for me! Yes yes, the mother of the year trophy is in the mail.

And right now, I enjoy the blessed silence of both of them being at school. It is sheer heaven!

Phew! Holidays OVER!

Maybe I'm just getting to be an old grouch, but while I love the month of December, the decorations and the spirit of the season, I have really started to loathe Christmas day! It's just SO much pressure! First you have to obsessively keep up the Santa myth. Then you have to make sure your children make a list of wishes, which they never can because they're so freaking spoiled rotten. Then you have to figure out what they want the MOST, battle the idiots in the malls to GET it...and then Santa gets the credit for it. And now that I have 2 kids, I have to make sure the gift count is similar, not to mention having to buy for my brother's 3 kids. In a year where Michael was out of work for 5 months...that was a little pressure-y for me. So I am glad to see the back of it. Yet sad to take down my Christmas tree. Irony.

Now onto 2010. It's gotta be better than 2009. Even just a little. My big plans for the year are to lose weight, have knee surgery, get a job, and run a 5k. Pretty much in that order. I'm so looking forward to getting a job! I am so sick of being broke and having to depend on my husband for money. It sucks far worse than anyone could ever tell you. So employment...after my knee is fixed and I've lost a few pounds. Anybody hiring?

Halloween

Another Halloween over with. It was subdued this year more than other years, I think. It gets me down a bit, how many people in our neighbourhood leave their houses dark. I mean, it makes no sense to me: you live in a neighbourhood with lots of little kids; would it kill you to buy $30 worth of candy and answer the door to a few dozen excited little kids? Is oooh-ing and awwww-ing over some cute little cuties such a difficult thing to do?

When I was a little girl, man, we used to fly through this neighbourhood, and there were very VERY few houses that were dark. Like, you knew who they were, and you secretly hated them all year long. But now, there are huge stretches of people who leave their lights out. We put up lights, a huge blow up ghost, speakers playing scary music, pumpkins...you name it! But the houses on either side AND directly across the street are dark. It's disheartening.

This year, because of the ongoing drama of my knee, I didn't GO trick-or-treating...I stayed home and shelled out. Michael got to go with the big gang. Aaaaaaaaaand...he lost Brian and the rest of the gang within I'd say the first 5 minutes out in the world. I look up the street and see he and Graeme strolling back towards the house, sans Brian. "I lost them!" he says to me. I freak out (because of course, my mother radar, even though I was pretty sure Brian was safely with the other mommies, was going into full-tilt-lost-kid-panic-mode) and start calling to find out if they have Brian, which they do. Then I yell at Michael and tell him where he can catch up with them. 8 years of doing this, I've never lost my kid. First year out, Michael loses the kid. Sheesh!

Still, the boys had a great night. Apparently Graeme was a trooper (gotta be hard being 3, keeping up with 7-9 year olds!) and they got the mother load of candy. Nothing like what I used to haul in back in the good old days, but not bad. And on that note, OMG the chocolate bars are SO small now!!! I mean really!!!! The Mr. Big bar...honestly...there is a marketing opportunity extrordanaire right there...make your bar BIGGER than the rest of the Halloween bars. But nope. It might even be smaller! The winner of the "Oh-My-God-That's-Not-Even-A-Mouthful" Award (this award is for CANDY! Mind out of the gutter) goes to the Caramilk bar. They used to have 2 sections, and this year, it has shrunk to only one. Smaller than the size of a chocolate at Christmastime. Shocking. So there's my fat-girl rant.

Now...on to Christmas!

My baby is 3!!

When did this happen?? How can I have a 3 year old...I only had him 5 minutes ago! He has passed the INCREDIBLY, UNSPEAKABLY terrible twos...and now he's into the "improving slightly" threes. Graeme, in personality, takes much more after me than he does his dad. He's very outgoing, rather bad-tempered, hilarious, and he swears like a sailor. Well, not quite, but he does come out with some pretty good ones. He often calls his brother a "c-word"...which means crap, not the OTHER c-word, chill out. He has also invented his own personal swear: he likes to call Brian a big "graybee"...whatever that is. But it's a bad one.

When Graeme is charming, he is adorable. He's irresistible! And because of the charm, he gets away with the other stuff. When Graeme is happy, everybody is happy. And if Graeme loves you, he loves the c-word out of you! I really like this kid...I think he's going to be good people.

Yesterday we had the family over for cake. Cathie and I combined our efforts and made a Mike Wazowski cake, and man did it turn out GREAT! Totally worth the effort when I saw the smile on Graeme's face! He was over the moon about it, and his first comment was "I'm gonna EAT him!" Which we did! He was yummy!

Happy Birthday, my baby clam!