Monday, December 27, 2010

Made It!

It's over! And I'm still standing. Phew!

Ok...here's something weird: us adults pick names for Christmas gifts...it's not exactly Secret Santa, because we know who we get, but this way we only have to buy for the kids and one other person. Other than your spouse, theoretically. But that's a grey area. That's not the weird thing though. What's weird is this: want to know the 2 top gifts of xmas this year? A Tiffany "Bean" necklace, and a pair of diamond hoop earrings. I got the Tiffany necklace from my brother. My sister in law got the diamond earrings from my husband. Ask me how many diamonds my husband has given ME? Go ahead...ask! No don't...it would only make you feel sad for me. Want to know what he DID get me? A heated mattress pad and an electric blanket. Because clearly I am 90 and also a shivery chihuahua. All the other people at the nursing home are going to be SO jealous. I told my kids if they smell anything delicious coming from my bedroom, to come and unplug me!

As for the children, well they got way too much, as always. But that's what xmas is all about, right? I mean, I totally remember my best gifts. I'll never forget the xmas of the 18 inch Barbie! She was like this giant amazon Barbie, and her hair was SOOO awesome to play with! She really couldn't play with the other Barbies, because she was freakishly gigantic, and I couldn't dress her in anything other than the silver lame bathing suit thing she came in because again, giganticness...but I loved that doll! I also loved the big Barbie head that you could put make-up on...until my brother wrote all over her face in ballpoint pen. Which I think I might have JUST forgiven him for thanks the the Tiffany necklace...so good call, Ross! Or the Barbie camper?? Which I still HAVE! Or the year I got Donny AND Marie all in one magical box of awesomeness. And yeah, the first thing I did was whip down Donny's purple jumper to check what he was packing. Which was, I'm sure, as disappointing as real life.


Lest it seem like all I ever wanted was Barbies (not far from the truth...), there was the Christmas of "Dumb Ditties", the best kid record EVER! Or the year I got Merlin? Remember Merlin!? Or the year my parents swore up and down that we weren't getting an Atari, but then...after all the gift were opened, my mother went up and totally surprised the CRAP out of us all Red Ryder BB gun style with...wait for it...AN ATARI!!! Oh yeah. My mother never let Santa get credit for the REALLY good stuff. She's smarter than me in that regard. Do NOT tell her I said that!

So, all in all, I've probably earned my existence in Christmas purgatory with Michael, who gets me gifts like electric blankets and Dremels. I can handle it. I guess now I'll go caress my bean. That's the Tiffany necklace...get your mind out of the gutter!

Monday, December 13, 2010

The X-Mas Holidays

Ugh...they're almost here. Thankfully, Michael will have next week off, which means I can come and go as I please. Which might be helpful to my ever darkening mood. Right now I'm having trouble facing the idea of weeks ahead of me with nothing but children 24/7. Again I say ugh.

Today I dropped Graeme off with my dad, and then mum and I went over to Square One. My dear mother nearly passed out from horror as I parked in the "for customer with child" parking spot. I don't usually, but today I had rather a 'fuck it' attitude. Seriously...eff you world. I HAVE children. Just because I don't actually have them with me doesn't mean one of them isn't a major pain in my ass and should thereby allow me to be rewarded by having a decent parking space every now and again, right?

So I went into Sephora, where everything I touched seemed to explode on contact. For instance, my hair, coat, and pretty much everything around me are more sparkling than my personality, thanks to the can of sparkle spray that got stuck in "spray" position. I probably glitter-ified at least 3 bystanders, my mother, and the floor before I decided to just put the can down and walk away. One of those days. I did manage to get exactly what I wanted, plus a dress at Old Navy and some cute x-massy pajama bottoms. Will they fill me with x-mas spirit? Somehow I think no. Blah...I really hope I'm not turning into my curmudgeon of a father. I'm too adorable to be a curmudgeon!

Last night, Brian and I went downtown to see the Ross Petty version of Beauty and the Beast. Cute. Takes a minute to get warmed up and to remember you're supposed to boo the villain. Scott Thompson in drag is always...ALWAYS...sponge worthy.

Now the question is: do we have any chocolate?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

I'm Stuck.

Does it get easier? That's from Lost in Translation. But...really...does it?

What I'm wondering is: how old do you have to be to have a mid-life crisis? Are they only for men? Should I buy a snazzy red car? Is that the thing that's going to make me happy? Because it feels a lot like life is whizzing by. WHIZZING! I mean I really don't know where it's going, and most days are just so much of the same, and accomplishing nothing.

Do people really just get in their car and keep on driving?